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A Wedding in Three Miracles

7/2/2013

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               I have a lot of heroes. But this past week I had the singular honor to witness a friend of mine make what is likely the most important promise of his life: the commitment of marriage. Any outside observer would probably have seen the event as a simple ceremony, nothing too remarkable stood out. Marriages happen every day, after all.

               But my friend didn’t become one of my heroes because he does things like everyone else. To the perceptive observer, one could have seen enough in that simple ceremony to inspire awe and renewed reverence for the tender mercies of life—the small miracles we all have the privilege to participate in. In that ceremony, I was witness to examples of three such miracles. These were: The miracle of patience, the miracle of love, and the miracle of perspective.

A Miracle of Patience
               My friend is one of those people who, even if you only talk to him briefly, strikes you as someone who has figured some things out about life. You can tell he asks deep questions and has paid the
truth-seeker’s price to find real answers, and then passionately applies truth once he has discovered it. In spite of his virtuous life, however, his righteous desire to wed has been fraught with frustration and disappointment. Yet, despite absolutely justifiable reasons to doubt and reject the promises of living the Gospel, my friend understood that patience—true patience—is not “shoulder-shrugging resignation” but rather “obedience prolonged” (Neal A. Maxwell, “Patience,” BYU Devotional, 27 November 1979). The very fact that he made it to this day with a smile on his face and genuine faith in his eyes was enough to warrant tear-filled admiration from me, and a choir’s tribute from heaven above(which, I’m not entirely sure didn’t happen, after hearing his wife sing to him as part of the program). I witnessed a miracle. A miracle of patience.

A Miracle of Love
               My friend and his new wife had “the glow.” It was readily seen that they were united, happy, and excited for this day. Their love could be seen and felt by all who were present. Yet, underneath the surface of their love for one another, was something even stronger. Their love was not rooted in infatuation, mutual fulfillment, or even sexual desire—as good and necessary as those things are to marriage. The miracle I witnessed that day was a love rooted in a complete and utter giving of themselves individually and as a couple to Jesus Christ. They made a promise to us, each other, and God, that they would “keep their eyes foremost on the Savior.” It is one of the inexplicable but completely fitting puzzles of the gospel:  outward love grows when our inward life looks to Christ above all else. It was a miracle. A miracle of love.

A Miracle of Perspective
               My friend tries to be purposeful and thoughtful in what he does. He looks at the bigger picture—outside himself, reverencing the past, and looking toward the future. At a time when all the attention was on him (indeed, we live in a society that preaches that life is “all about you”), one of the first things he wanted acknowledged was his gratitude for the influence and help of others.  With heart-filled emotion he said that, “our lives are largely the result of those that touched ours.” In the same vein, he had sewn into his suit coat 4th Nephi 1: 11, “And they were married, and given in marriage, and were blessed according to the multitude of the promises which the Lord had made unto them.” After the ceremony, my friend confided in me that he had this scripture sewn on, not because of the promises he and his wife personally looked forward to, but rather to remind them that the multitude of promises also includes promises made to those that came before and those that will come after. They had at the forefront of their mind that their children’s lives are primarily determined by how they, as parents, live up to the promises they made with God. And they do not take those promises lightly. It was a miracle. A miracle of perspective.

               Thanks, man. Thanks for being “an example of the believers” (1 Tim. 4:12) and for reminding me what it means to live deliberately. It has had more of an effect on me—and so many others—than you know. 

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Birthday Present!

9/17/2011

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So, today is my birthday. I almost forgot about it. I don't think I'm at the point where I could truly forget totally, but my week at school was such that, literally, I had no conception of time outside of 'do I have my lesson ready for tomorrow'. I really didn't have a lot of time to plan any sort of party, but a week ago the ward announced that we were going to have a big bbq at the bishop's house as well as the Philadelphia Temple Groundbreaking on that day, so I thought I was good as far as parties.  The bbq ended up being cancelled and the groundbreaking was a broadcast... so I ended up not really having a party or celebrating my birthday in traditional 'party' fashion... but hey, I decided precisely four years ago that, in an ideal world, birthdays should be a time to turn outward, not inward. So all I did that day was attend the broadcast, help someone move... and, one thing that--to me--really was a party. I cleaned my room. And organized it. In a radically different way.

Story.

The cleaning and new organization would not have been possible without the help of several people: My roommates Dan and Eric, a neighbor of our's, and God. I'll explain: I live in a room that is 7' by almost 9'. That's pretty small (it is actually a closet that happens to have a window), but I find it adequate, and I have it as my mission to save money while I'm paying for my master's degree (which is no small task in a city like Philadelphia, especially when it comes to housing). So I like my room, but it is small. SO, I bought myself a birthday present: a loft. It's a bunkbed without the bottom bunk. It puts my over 5' above the ground--saving all of that room my bed used to take up!! At least, that was my idea. The problem is that shipping here in Philly is a pain: they ship during the day and all of my roommates and I work during the day...if it doesn't fit in the mail slot (a bit thicker and wider than a VHS tape), you have to plan on picking it up. Problem is, my loft box is rather large, irregularly-shaped, and 100 pounds... and my not having a car here in Philly complicates things substantially. So, I knew it was going to be delivered on Friday, and, because of past delivery attempts, knew that I get home only about 35 minutes after it would be dropped off. So I thought I would risk it: I would leave a note for the FedEx guy to leave it at the door. I was told that leaving packages on your doorstep is not smart in Philly, but I thought the size and weight would make me safe--surely--for a mere 30 minutes until I arrived?

Well, I walk up to our row home, no package in sight.

I swallowed, and went inside, hoping that, by some chance happening, one of my roommates had come home and received it. No one home, no box anywhere in the house. I looked up the shipping info online and it said it had been delivered.
...
...
I frantically called FedEx to tell them what had happened, and they listened unsympathetically. I had bet and lost.
...or so I thought.
This morning, right before my roommate and I left for the groundbreaking, our neighbor knocks on our door and tells us that she has my package: some people saw it delivered and began loading it in their truck when she said that the package was hers, they just delivered it to the wrong house. Cluuuuuuuuuuutch! So, end of story: that was a huge load off my mind, and my roommates helped me set it up later that day (read: did all the work), and it was a grand birthday present after all: it roughly doubled the size of my room. God is sooooooooo good to me.

The end. Except that school is still really, really, hard. But I'm telling myself to focus on the good, and, funny enough, even though some things are outrageously ridiculous, there is plenty of good to find. :)
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What is service?

2/9/2009

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     So Western culture has this bad rap about being kinda distant toward people who aren't already our friends.  It's nothing mean spirited, we just don't interact more than we have to with strangers.  It's just what we do.  But why?  Why aren't we more friendly and open with people at times when it would be so easy like before class, while waiting in a line,  or when eating?  Well, BYU is doing something about it.  It's dubbed "redefine service."  And it's amazing.  It's about rethinking the way we view what "service" means.  It's not just about volunteering at soup kitchens or donating one's time at a homeless shelter.  Those things are great, they make a difference, and we should pursue them.  But the things that honestly brighten my day the most and make my life joyful are just small things.  Spontaneous things.  Things like a stranger coming up to me and introducing him or herself in a class where I don't know anyone, a roommate seeing that I'm stressed out about schoolwork and offers to do my portion of the apartment chores, or when I'm rushing off the school and someone just comes up to me and starts helping me scrape the ice caked around my car (or even more joyful, when they offer me a ride!! I LOVE that, no scraping, no parking . . . oh! The elation!)  As was said in a recent conference: “Serving others need not come from spectacular events. Often it is the simple daily act that gives comfort, uplifts, encourages, sustains, and brings a smile to others.”1 That's classic, Christlike service to me. 
     But it's not just about encouraging people to do small acts of service to those we encounter every day.  It's also about publicizing the multiplicity of tender mercies that people are already bringing about.  BYU is one of the friendliest places already . . . and we want to get the word out.  We're collecting stories about all those times someone has reached out to you and made your day, stranger or otherwise.  So please, go to redefineservice.byu.edu right now to join with the hundreds who have already pledged to redefine service to make BYU known not only for things like being "stone-cold sober" or football, but also for being the #1 place in the world to feel welcome.  As you look for those ways, I think you'll find that service is its own reward and will bring your life to a whole new level of happiness.  As President Hinckley taught:
“The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served.”2
1(Michael J. Teh, “Out of Small Things,” Ensign, Nov 2007,  35–37)
2(Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing for Something, p. 56)
    Again, The Website is redefineservice.byu.edu and we're still looking for volunteers to help out with a booth we are hosting for the next couple of weeks.  Contact Kelli Haws (801-735-8306) or hkelli7@gmail.com to sign up for a booth time (or for any general questions). 
     And don't forget to send your small acts of service "moments" to redefineservice@byu.edu

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