July 9, 2010
Field trip day again today! I could totally get used to this schedule! Every other day we get to go out and tour the Holy Land!! Today we went to a few... noticeably lesser places. We went to Gamla--where the Roman battled some Jews led by Josephus, old bunkers in the Golan heights, and the traditional place where the casting out of the legion of devils into the pigs took place (Kursi). After we got back, we had lunch and then a half hour until we had another hike—this time, though, there was swimming involved. It was fun, except our guide did not know English very well and we took so long so we didn't get to go to the biggest waterfall... When we got back, the other group went to the fish restaurant, which means I missed out on ever experiencing Tiberias at night... but at least the Kibuttz here had the best desserts ever. I had 6. Tonight people played kissing tag, but I just talked to other people who weren't participating. Am I really not wanting to participate because I think it is inappropriate, or am I just lame?


In addition to the pics below, here is a youtube video of my teacher talking on site.  More for my benefit of remembering than anything, but feel free to enjoy it!

Here are most (a good selection, but alas! Not nearly all!) of the places/things I've done in the last few weeks.  This will probably be my last post for the next two weeks as I will be in the Galilee!!  However, in addition to the photos and video below, I have uploaded a whole collection of videos from myself and others at the center here http://www.youtube.com/byuj2010#p/u Enjoy!!

One of the amaaaazing things about Jerusalem is that you literally can just walk down the streets and pass a dozen historical sites—and not just recent history. So yesterday, we went out to look for a few sites, but on the way there, we passed a place that claimed to be the birthplace of the virgin Mary! It was a Greek church, with lots of beautiful paintings on the main floor. The lower floors were these cool, natural caves. And then today, I was walking to the Garden of Gethsemane and we walked next door to another church dedicated to the Virgin Mary! Both times we really weren't looking for them, but there we were! Add to that the fact that we watched a special documentary series tonight that hasn't been released yet, Messiah: Behold the Lamb of God, (Produced by Bro. Kent Brown himself!), and the section he let us see was on the birth of Christ... I decided to read some things about the Mother of God, and I'm really glad I did!

As I re-read Luke chapter 1, I remembered a life-changing insight that my mission president gave our zone in a zone conference about faith. First, the angel Gabriel appeared to Zacharias and explains to him what God is going to do in his life and he responds, “Whereby shall I know this? for I am an old man, and my wife well stricken in years” (Luke 1:18). And is heartily rebuked for his question. Gabriel responds, “behold, thou shalt be dumb, and not able to speak, until the day that these things shall be performed, because thou believest not my words, which shall be fulfilled in their season” (Luke 1:20). When the same angel appears to Mary and gives her almost the same news... she is still fearful and even “troubled at his saying” (Luke 1:29). She, too, asks a question of the angelic messenger which, at first glance, I thought was identical to the question Zacharias posed to the angel: “How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?” (Luke 1:34). In essence, it is the same question, but there is a huge difference in their attitudes, their fath. Zacharias' question was outright incredulity. Mary's question is completely different. She does not ask for proof of the angel's claims—which would be proof of doubt—but rather, her question is “how shall this be”: she takes it as a given that it will happen... she is merely confused as to the method of its coming to pass. In contrast to the stubborness of Zacharias, Mary submits completely to God with a humble, submissive attitude: “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word” (Luke 1:38). Humility and submissive to the will of God... I am hard-pressed to think of more rare virtues that would make her so “blessed among women” (Luke 1:28). I give full credit to God for the type of women He chose to raise His Only Begotten.

I think these two virtues hold the key as to how to be highly favored of the Lord. It caused me to think about all the times that I doubt or am at least impatient with the promises of God. I do it a lot. I know what promises the gospel offers, yet I want things to happen in the way I expect in the timetable I desire...or I get FRUSTRATED. I honestly don't think it is unrighteous of me to want to see God's promises fulfilled, but perhaps it is precisely my zeal and overly-eager expectation to see and know with proof of their fulfillment that are the keeping me from the knowledge that the completely submissive Mary was privileged with... 

Today we had more classes, I organized my photos and studied for finals coming up... not a lot worth writing about, but for the weekly forum, we had an excellent forum speaker who talked to us about the role of media in this conflict... and how it falls short of what it could be in a lot of ways.  It was very insightful.  He was a very good storyteller.  My favorite story can be downloaded here.  Enjoy!



PS
I uploaded tons of new pictures and new youtube videos!

Today I got my first and (hopefully) only package from home!  I say hopefully because not only does it take a long time to get packages, but Israeli mail has an extremely frustrating tax law on all incoming packages: they have set up a list of all the things that they deem should be taxed in order to "protect the economy."  The list is basically... everything that isn't homemade food items (even clothes carry a 100% tax on their value!).  Electronics are especially expensive to send because the government scans everything and is known for opening any packages that beep (add to that, the fact that if it has a tax imposed on it, even if it is small, you can't have it delivered--you have to pick it up yourself!).  Luckily, I only had to pay a small tax (I had my parents send me a phone accessory so I can plug my headphones in).  It was really great to get a real backpack and some Sweedish fish!!  When I was there, though, they asked if I wanted to pick up the center's other two packages for my fellow students, and they cost 200 shekels (~$54) just to pick up!!  When we got back, I picked up the two cameras that I broke from the security desk.  Boy, am I glad to have that headache over with!

Later in the day, I went to an Ethiopian Church with my friends Danielle, Katie, and Lindsey. It was a Christian church, but the style was with more... colorful with rugs and paintings and candles and incenses. It was probably the most colorful church I've ever seen. There was nobody else inside but a sleeping guard, so we actually hung out there for a while because it was really cool inside, temperature wise, and a peaceful place to talk--we had a great gospel conversation about the Kingdoms of Glory. It also had this really amazing painted dome ceiling, with saints and angels all around it. 

Then, we went down the street from the church there is this street called Me'a She'arim. It is a Hasidic Ultra-Orthodox Jewish neighborhood. They had up all these signs that tell you that you have to be super modest and that they don't like groups to come through and disrupt their neighborhood. A few people who have gone there told us that they got some dirty looks if the girls were wearing pants or if there were a lot of them, but my friends were all in skirts, so we were fine (except I felt a little self-conscious for not having my kippa with me...) and since there were only 4 of us people were pretty nice. We stopped at a bookstore to look for a journal for Katie, and it was cool to see all the books they had- 100% of them were in Hebrew. There were also a lot of little stores and fruit stands, and we even saw a shoe-maker's store, where this guy was sitting at this intense sewing-machine stitching a black leather shoe. All of the little kids' sidelocks were longer, thicker, and curlier than any I have seen anywhere else in the city.

At night, I watched a concert put on by Palestinian children in a special music initiative.  It was pretty good!

Today I went to the Zoo!   There was a giant ark there, which was pretty much empty inside but it had a great view of the zoo and the surrounding area. We got to ride on a little train too to get around. One of the best parts of the day was that there was this group of preschoolers who all had down syndrome, and it was so sweet to see how excited they got at all of the different animals... even the boring ones. They were really... uplifting... to watch.
It was called a biblical zoo, but that included most of the animals that were on the ark, so maybe that's what they meant. There were zebras and hippos and rhinos and giraffes and a lion and a red panda and snakes and monkeys and flamingos... As well as, well, you can enjoy the pics:

   We walked up to the gate and wondered if we were in the right place.  There was a long line of Hasidic (ultra-orthodox) Jews with the iconic curls on the sides of their heads (called "peyot") coming out of the building.  But it was the right place: the tomb was in the basement and was also used as a synagogue.
            As I walked into the synagogue, I was humbled what I saw.  Even though I had before been in a place where orthodox Jews worship, the level of devotion of the Jewish people still touches me.  The casket that commemorates the place where David is believed to rest was part of the sacred wall where Jews pray.  As some Jews pray, they rock back and forth as they pray or read from the Torah.  At first, I thought this is unnerving, but then I learned the reason behind it: they interpret the scripture that one should worship God with all one's heart, might, mind, and strength to require a physical manifestation of their worship.  Now every time I see it, I reflect on my personal prayers: am I physically there when I speak to and worship my Lord?

            After visiting the tomb, I sat down on the steps and read a few scriptures related to the life and doings of David.  His was an amazing life: he was a lowly shepherd boy, and grew to be the most successful persona in Jewish history.  He united the tribes under a single banner and extended Israeli territory to the largest it had ever been, before or since.  If anyone had claim to being on top—to being the best, it was King David.  Which is why the rest of his story is so tragic.  His pride was his downfall.  Now, I don't pretend to know all of why he did what he did with Uriah and Bathsheba—only God knows what was truly going through his head and He will be the judge.  What I was struck with, though, was the impression I got that David seemed oblivious to his own slippage.  I have read the Old Testament before, but never in any serious depth until my religion class here in the Holy Land... and I have missed a lot. At the burial place of David himself, I re-read 2 Samuel chapter 12.  It is the prophet Nathan telling David a parable of two men: one rich, one poor.  The rich man “had many flocks and herds... but the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb.”  When a traveler came to the rich man's house, the rich man “took the poor man’s lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him.” When David heard this, “David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die.”  David was not even aware of the irony of his statement.  Nathan responded “Thou art the man” (2 Samuel 12:7).  Those four words... are life-changing. 

            People say I overuse that phrase, but that is how I really see things.  And this story, for me, illustrates precisely why.  David, like every. Single. One. Of us...is habitually too slow to look for the multifaceted application to ourselves in every parable, every maxim, every Sunday school lesson, or any inspired piece of truth from any source.  Now, this isn't required by any specific commandment.  It isn't unexpected.  Actually, it justifiably has the potential to be unhealthy... but I posit the idea that it is not only possible to do so healthily, but is actually the best possible thing to do for your health—physically and spiritually.  I am sure David went to religious services, He knew the commandments... yet he drifted far enough away in his mind to be able to listen to truth and either unconsciously zone out, or consciously justify that his situation was somehow different—that the lessons being taught were for “others.”  Imagine how his life would have been different if he would have had the simple humility—at all times and in all places—to say to himself, “I am never beyond the need to learn, improve, or repent.” Imagine a world where everyone asks, “Am I 'the man'”?  or “Lord, is it I?” (Matthew 26:22).  If approached with an eternal perspective, I believe this principle is the basis upon which we fulfill our purpose on Earth and, from my (acknowledgely limited experience) is the quickest way to make heaven of our lives while on Earth.  Consider the words of someone who, I genuinely believe, speaks for God:
“Now as we conclude this general conference, let us all give heed to what was said to us. Let us assume the counsel given applies to us, to me. Let us hearken to those we sustain as prophets and seers, as well as the other brethren, as if our eternal life depended upon it, because it does!” (Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign, May 1978, p.77, emphasis added). Consider also this inspired quote, (that currently happens to be my second favorite of all time):

• “My dear brothers and sisters, the Lord does not want us to become aware of our state of nothingness and misery (see Mosiah 4:11; Alma 26:12; Hel. 12:7; Moses 1:10) only at the Day of Judgment. Now and every day in our mortal lives, He wants to sharpen our awareness. . . as He calls us to a continuous process of repentance...It seems that we can only effectively go through the process of continuous repentance if we literally learn to become our own judges. We ourselves and the Lord are the only ones who really know us. We do not even know ourselves unless we have learned to walk the lonely and most challenging road toward self-honesty, as constantly prompted by the Spirit.  This is the sacrifice we have to learn to offer. Nobody will ever be able to understand or even to accept principles of truth unless he or she, to some degree, has developed a painful awareness of the dimensions of self-honesty. Without the capability to recognize truth, we will not be really free: we will be slaves to habits or prejudices heavily covered with excuses. But learning to become aware of the depth of the dimensions of truth will make us free. We cannot remove a stumbling block unless we see it first. We cannot grow unless we know what is holding us back” (F. Enzio Busche, “University for Eternal Life,” Ensign, May 1989, 71)

            Is this too idealistic?  Perhaps... but for what it is worth, it has changed my life, and I testify that—if this total and constant application is applied holistically to the truths in the gospel (especially those about God's love and mercy)—it is the most liberating and happiness-sustaining ways to live.  Once we realize our relationship to God and our absolute dependence on Him, there is no shame in acknowledging that we have a consistent need to learn, improve, and repent.  In fact, I believe that humble acknowledgment brings us closest to the heart and mind of Christ, the fountain of all joy (See 1 Ne. 11:25 and Rev. 7:17).

     The time was 5:00am.  I had just woken up for the trip I was most excited for of the entire BYU-Jerusalem program: our group was going to EGYPT!!!  It would be a full week trip, and I was prepared: I planned for the heat of the desert, the cold of our 2am mountain hike on the last day of the trip, the general lack of food (there are a lot of things that are not safe to eat in Egypt, plus I can be kinda picky), a small pillow and extra entertainment for the long bus rides, my charger and extra batteries and memory cards for my camera (My laptop is kinda bulky, so I did not bring it, but I bought extra memory cards—29 gigs total--so that there would be NO CHANCE that I would run out of space for my one and probably only trip to a place I had always dreamed of going).   I was stoked.  I could barely sleep the night before.  We stopped at a few places along the way: Beersheba (where Abraham, Isaac and Jacob were thought to have dwelt and dug a well) , the wilderness of Zin (where the children of Israel were for part of their 40 year wanderings as well as where Moses performed the miracle of making water come from smiting a rock), and a few other places (Avdat, Mizpe Ramon), but I was restless... the very next day I would be in AFRICA among the greatest wonders of the KNOWN WORLD!  
     The very last place we went will be forever burned into my psyche: Kibbutz Keturah.  It is actually an incredibly interesting place.  It is an almost completely self-sufficient Jewish settlement at the edge of Israel.  The Kibbutz gave us a tour of the entire facility.  Everyone works for the kibbutz in whatever expertise they bring to the table, and in return get all their basic needs met (food, shelter, education, etc.) plus $400 spending money (depending on how much the whole Kibbutz makes—Keturah makes $5 million a year, mostly from their dairy farm and a freshwater red algae harvesting center—but all profits from everything are shared 100% equally).  For the last event before dinner, we went deep into the neighboring desert—sand as far as you can see.  We were invited to play around for a bit, but then our Kibbutz guide, David, gathered us around and talked about how he thought it was no coincidence that all three of the major monotheistic religions had their origins near deserts—that it was almost necessary to believe in something Greater than oneself amid such vastness.  He said he wanted each of us to experience the desert for ourselves.  He gave us each a pencil and a piece of paper and said to go away from the group—so that we could not see anyone else, and just ponder life until you heard the horn blow.  Then we were to open the paper, ponder the prompt, and write about it.  The second horn blow would signal that it was time to gather back. I had one very specific, very important question to ponder, and I was very excited to empty my head and see if the vast desert could provide the impetus for insight into my question.  So I found a spot, sat down, and began to ponder.  I thought about where I was, about the things I have done and wanted to do in my life, the blessings I had received, and the incredible opportunity that I was experiencing—which experience would lead me to Egypt the very next day!  
And I continued to think...
And I continued to wait...
And I would have opened my paper and began, but he specifically said to resist opening it until the sound of the horn—and I wanted the 'full desert experience'...
So I continued to just sit there and think
…
…
Until one of the students came around and asked me why I wasn't coming back with the rest of the group.
I had missed the horn.  Both times.  
     So I got up and ran to go back to the bus.  But I wanted a panoramic of the desert scene, so I took out my camera and took the picture.  My camera was the only one that takes instant panoramics, so two others asked me to take their pictures which I did.  But I noticed that the lens came out more slowly than normal for the picture, and did not close all the way after the second.  As I walked back to the bus, I was examining it and there was sand all over it.  I was very confused as to why: I was very careful not to jump around during the entire dune excursion... but then I felt my pocket: it was full of sand.  It blew in while I was sitting down waiting for the horn to blow.  I blew all over it to get everything off of it, and turned it on again.  My worst fear came true: the camera made a soft grinding sound and the lens was stuck shut.  The screen said: “Error. Turn off the camera and try again.”  
My heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach.  
     I said a silent prayer of anguish: this couldn't happen right now.  This trip meant too much to me.  I had researched this camera for three months just to be able to take panoramics, hd video, and GPS-tagged photos all over Egypt... To record the trip of a lifetime for a lifetime.  For about 15 minutes I just had this foreboding, sinking, forsaken feeling (I realize that this may sound a bit trivial to some of you, but for anyone that knows me... they know how much technology means to me—I was devastated).  But then I kinda snapped out of it: Where was my faith?  How could I get down at a time like this?  All was not said and done.  There was a myriad of things I could do!  I asked our guide if there were any camera repair services at the Kibbutz... which there wasn't.  I asked our teacher, a picture enthusiast, and he suggested I open it myself and blow it out.  And so I tried to put it out of my mind as we ate dinner and swam at the Kibbutz pool.  I was mostly successful: I was a computer technician!  Of course I would be able to open it up and fix it... There was no way my God would allow me to go camera-less in my only opportunity to go to Egypt... 
     The moment dinner was over, I got out of the pool and found someone with a small screwdriver and went to work—all during the night.  I took my camera apart and blew in each newly uncovered section.  I was praying the whole time: please make it work.  Please make it work.  I got pretty far into the camera—enough to wiggle the lens area, and brushed out all the sand I could.  I would have gone father, but I was trying to balance the danger of breaking something permanently.  When I put it all back together (it was 2am by this time—it was a lot harder to put back together it turns out), I got to my knees and asked for a tender mercy.  I decided to wait until morning to turn it on again—one of my friends said that something similar happened to her camera and she left it alone and when she turned it on the next day, with the lens facing down, it worked and pushed all the remaining sand out.
     I woke up early and turned on the camera: the same. Exact. Error. The lens extended a little bit more, but only marginally.
At this point, I would like to say (again, those who know me can attest to this fact) that I am a pretty optimistic guy.  I look for positive.  I look for the good in all situations.  I try to take the eternal perspective with hope, charity, and faith.  But I'll be honest with y'all: I was profusely frustrated and genuinely let down.  It was more than that, though... I was the type of guy that would to go up to anyone who was having a bad day and try to cheer them up... I would always be so upbeat and happy.  I would always think of a hundred reasons that the person should be happy—and I thought I genuinely believed those reasons.  Confession: I also... secretly... have the audacity to believe that the only reason that one would not be “cheered up” is because they either did not understand or would refuse to apply gospel principles.
     So I tried to hold on to the ideal I had set for myself.  I prayed to have a better attitude... and hope and inspiration came: I would find a compressed air blower at the hotel or a repair shop in Cairo and then all would be good again.  I went to breakfast with a head full of what-ifs and worries, but enough assurance that fixing my camera was still possible, so I wore a smile: I was just on the cusp of having my faith affirmed—I just had to maintain a good attitude and things would work out according to my righteous desires (really: I am on the memories committee here at the Jerusalem center—I used my camera to many righteous ends!).  I didn't have to wait that long.  That day, one of my fellow participants felt sorry for my loss and said I could use her camera the entire time we were in Egypt!  Yes!!  Score 1 for faith in God!  Plus, one of the teachers said that there would be tons of repair shops in Luxor and there would surely be a place that could fix it there as it was a huge tourist spot.  I was still sad that I had to wait a few days for my panoramics and GPS, but the answer had come.  All would be as it was in a few days, and in the meantime, I had a camera for the most exciting time of my once-in-a-lifetime study abroad program.
     Or so I thought.
     The short version: The very next day... sand got in my friend's camera... and IT broke.  Worse, when were at Luxor, me and 3 friends wasted a good portion of our free time trying to find a place to fix them... with nothing to show for it (in fact, as I am writing this, my camera is still giving me the same error after many hours of wasted time and several misadventures of trying to find a place that could fix it).  In all honesty, this is the type of thing that would ruin the entire trip for me.  I love pictures.  I was in Egypt.  I researched that camera specifically for this trip.  There is no way that this was happening.  I was thinking about it... and, barring a death, dismemberment, or other permanently-damaging mishap to myself or fellow participant, I couldn't really think of anything that had the potential to upset me more than my current state of affairs.  
And I laughed.
I laughed at satan.  
    At first, I thought of this as just an unfortunate accident, I also thought it might be God trying to teach me something, but (though my way of thinking still includes the notion that no matter what happens, God can still use it to teach us) now I honestly think that this was satan trying to aggravate and demoralize me and his moment had come—and boy did he take full advantage of it.  And I just had to laugh.  All at once, several thoughts came to me: 

1. Satan has the power to crush my heel, but we have the power to crush his head.
2. Satan is a loser (See  Neil L. Andersen, “Beware of the Evil behind the Smiling Eyes,” Ensign, May 2005,  46)
3. A quote by President Kimball: “Your life is your own, to develop or to destroy. You can blame others little and yourself almost totally if that life is not a productive, worthy, full, and abundant one” (“President Kimball Speaks Out on Planning Your Life,” Sept. 1981, p. 47).
4. And, most importantly, from Neal A. Maxwell: “Sometimes, the best people... have the worst experiences... If we are serious about our discipleship, Jesus will eventually request each of us to do those very things which are most difficult for us” (Neal A. Maxwell, A Time to Choose (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1972), 46).

     I acknowledge that I might be a little presumptuous (ok, probably really presumptuous) to compare this trial to what was asked of Elder Maxwell, but this is what came to me, and I so I can't help but think it is at least moderately applicable.  I was being put through a real test—not one of those superficial ones that really don't matter—but one that, at least for Kendel, was truly asking something of me.  I was being asked to give up something that really mattered to me—something that couldn't just be “focused away.”  Turns out the gospel is a lot harder to apply when it is yourself being handed the bag of crap.  It made me examine my faith: am I a person whose faith, hope, and charity is dependent?  That is only faithful to God “as long as”?  That is only cheerful because, in all actuality, I have no real problems?  And so I laughed.  
     I realized that my thoughts were all centered around how God would come through for me... the only way I would be satisfied was with a working camera.  In other words, my faith was outcome based—a sort of cheap exchange I was making with God, and I was no true disciple if I was only happy when I was getting what I wanted in the exchange.  And so I let it go.  And I instantly felt better.  Honestly, I did not even know there was a camera out there with such a neat panoramic function or GPS ability—how could that mean so much to me when it did not even exist until just recently?  It's absurd!  I was caught in the classic trap of transforming wants into needs and basing how I feel off of worldly comparison.  Now, I would be lying if it didn't hurt a little bit when we would be at a cool site and I knew I wouldn't have the GPS data of where I was at or when there was a great panoramic opportunity and I knew I couldn't capture it, but I can honestly say: I did not let that control my attitude.  I had a great time in Egypt.  And I got tons of great pictures.  My friends are so awesome.  I never had to feel awkward or embarrassed to ask them to take my picture: they were more than happy to.  I probably got a lot more great pictures that I would not have otherwise gotten (it got to the point where we would get to a site and people would ask me what I wanted my picture taken with first!)  I will post more as I get the pictures from my friends... And you know what else?  THAT is what matters most.  I could go on forever about this (as you can easily tell by now if you have gotten this far in this post!), but I am the most blessed person on this earth for so many reasons, but one of the big ones is to have the friends that I do.  I wake up every morning as a cared about, thought about, prayed about, accepted, and overall loved person.  I truly do have every reason to be “cheered up”--if I but focused on this one blessing.  Elder Ballard taught that, “What Matters Most Is What Lasts Longest,” (Ensign, Nov 2005) and friends are forever.  God bless all of you.  One final Elder Maxwell quote: “Sobered and humbled by the grandeur of the Restoration and all that it brings to us, there should be times when you and I leave tears on our pillows out of gratitude for what God has given us” (Neal A. Maxwell, “The Wondrous Restoration,” Ensign, Apr 2003, 30).  I likewise am humbled with gratitude and water my pillow at night to be blessed to know each of the people I call friends.  Thank you.

Just minutes ago, I was in my first Hebrew class ever.  It was so awesome!!  We learned how Hebrew not only consistently follows its rules, but is also mathematically sound and completely logical.  Every consonant has a vowel associated with it (except for the last letter) and they are simply found under the consonant.  There are no exceptions.  It made me think about the name of God and how I was told the pronunciation was lost--because we didn't know the vowels (because they would take them out to reverence the name).  That totally makes sense now!  Also, words add an 'a' at the end for feminine (just like like Spanish) and 'im' for the plural.  Hence 'chaver' is friend, and 'chaverim' is friends (and 'shalom' is the word for both hello and goodbye--and when someone says it to you, the proper response is just to repeat the word--so easy!).  Although, we haven't really started with the Hebrew characters yet, so we'll see if I continue to think things are as easy as they seem now.  Regardless, I am so loving it here--everything is so interesting!!